Saturday, 7th December 2019

Which p*ssed-off generation are you part of?

UNSURE whether you’re Generation X, Millennial or Boomer? Don’t know which other generation you should hate most? Follow our guide: 

Generation Z born 1996-ongoing

Digital natives resented by all the other generations for never having to live through dial-up internet, they’re always on about climate change, being woke on social media and, unlike everyone else when they were young, are convinced that they and only they are right.

Millennials born 1981-1996

Labelled by the media as lazy, entitled little shits who complain about being stereotyped, as being obsessed with avocados while being obsessed with avocados. Hate all other generations for making them look bad by being less annoying than they are.

Generation X born 1964-1981

Lucky enough to be born when all of the good music was coming out, but unlucky enough to be named after a b*llocks Douglas Coupland novel. Hate Gen Z for pointing out that Friends was racist, homophobic sh*t and hate Boomers for being annoying parents.

Baby Boomers born 1945-1964

Always barking on about a war they, by definition, didn’t participate in, Boomers didn’t have stuff until the 1970s so nobody else should have any, ever. Hate all other generations for being ‘snowflakes’, a name for anyone slightly concerned about global warming or human rights.

Silent Generation born 1925-1945

Born into a general strike, the Great Depression, and then WWII, this generation has nothing but contempt for anyone younger and is largely right to, though arguably it’s their internalised psychological trauma that’s caused all the trouble. Voted Brexit. Voted Brexit so goddamned hard.