Who am I to judge the Pope, says gay man

A GAY man has said that although Pope-ish acts are bad, a Pope-ish orientation is not.

In what his friends claim is a softening of his stance on Popes, 38-year-old gay chef Tom Logan claimed he was fine with them as long as they didn’t do any Pope stuff.

He said: “If a person is a Pope but has good will, who am I to judge them?

“And it would be even more ridiculous if I were to say that then continue by telling Popes how to behave.

“After all I am just a bloke, albeit a bloke with a funny hat – a chef’s hat. Actually that does make me a bit special, so listen up.”

Speaking from behind the vaguely pulpit-like oven at the restaurant where he works, Logan said: “It’s fine for a man to have Pope-ish feelings, as long as he does not act on them in any way. Or lobby for religion.

“You could argue that telling a Pope not to do any Pope behaviour, like taking mass or dressing up in robes, is essentially the same as telling them not to be a Pope. But it is not.

“Don’t even try to argue with me, or I will wave this spoon in an intimidating manner.”

Logan’s colleague Emma Bradford said: “Because Tom’s very sexually frustrated he’s gone a bit funny and developed a weird belief system. Basically he thinks he is a spokesman for this invisible being called ‘Gorgonzola’.

“He doesn’t realise that for a religion to be proper it has to have been made up a long time ago.”