Who am I to judge the Pope, says gay man

A GAY man has said that although Pope-ish acts are bad, a Pope-ish orientation is not.

In what his friends claim is a softening of his stance on Popes, 38-year-old gay chef Tom Logan claimed he was fine with them as long as they didn’t do any Pope stuff.

He said: “If a person is a Pope but has good will, who am I to judge them?

“And it would be even more ridiculous if I were to say that then continue by telling Popes how to behave.

“After all I am just a bloke, albeit a bloke with a funny hat – a chef’s hat. Actually that does make me a bit special, so listen up.”

Speaking from behind the vaguely pulpit-like oven at the restaurant where he works, Logan said: “It’s fine for a man to have Pope-ish feelings, as long as he does not act on them in any way. Or lobby for religion.

“You could argue that telling a Pope not to do any Pope behaviour, like taking mass or dressing up in robes, is essentially the same as telling them not to be a Pope. But it is not.

“Don’t even try to argue with me, or I will wave this spoon in an intimidating manner.”

Logan’s colleague Emma Bradford said: “Because Tom’s very sexually frustrated he’s gone a bit funny and developed a weird belief system. Basically he thinks he is a spokesman for this invisible being called ‘Gorgonzola’.

“He doesn’t realise that for a religion to be proper it has to have been made up a long time ago.”

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Only way to leave LinkedIn is to destroy LinkedIn HQ

MEMBERSHIP of networking website LinkedIn can only be terminated by destroying its corporate headquarters, it has emerged.

A LinkedIn spokesman said: “People have been emailing us, saying they lost interest in the site immediately after joining and have since attempted to delete their profile several dozen times.

“Actually leaving the site is quite simple – simply locate and destroy our corporate headquarters. They’re in a bunker, and although I can’t tell you exactly where, it is a jungle region.

“You will however need a number of fighter planes to penetrate our missile defences.”