Friday, 30th October 2020

Whole dinner table forced to speak at level of single sodding toddler present

A TABLE of adults have been forced to spend an entire meal conversing at the level of the three-year-old who is sharing their dinner.

The sophisticated evening meal with friends has been thoroughly ruined by Sophie Rodriguez who keeps announcing she is about to transform into a yellow Power Ranger.

Guest Joe Turner said: “So far we’ve discussed the colour of her plate, how long her spaghetti is and why boys have winkies.

“I understand childcare problems happen, but can’t we just talk over her? Why do we have to listen to her recount her favourite Paw Patrol episodes?

“It’s like being at dinner with a very short despot and if we want any chance of making it out alive, we have to bow to her every desire and make her feel revered at all times.”

Mother Sara said: “That’s an accurate description of what it’s like to spend time in public with young children. My advice is to keep drinking.

“On the bright side, at least nobody can start a conversation about the economy.”