HOUSEGUESTS should be greeted with the wi-fi password at maximum volume, according to new etiquette guidelines.
According to the latest edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette, failure to supply wi-fi access immediately is the greatest solecism that hosts can commit, implying as it does that their stilted conversation is superior to the whole internet.
The book says: “Forcing guests to ask for a password is to reduce them to the abject level of adult children on a rare visit to the parental home.
“And handing out a printed slip on vellum paper, adopted by the lower-middles, is terribly gauche and evokes the ambience of a chain coffee shop.
“A true gentleman announces the password instantly and unignorably, and should guests need a reminder they need only look up to see SN095b55b embroidered by the lady of the house and hung over the fireplace.”
Julian Cook of Richmond said: “If I haven’t got the wi-fi password it takes an age to check Twitter on 3G, making me look like the rude one which is hardly fair.
“However, if I were ever invited to a home where the wi-fi were not protected by password, I would leave immediately. Civilisation demands certain standards.”