Woman angry with boyfriend about what he did in her dream

A WOMAN who dreamed that her partner was having an affair with her best friend has remained absolutely furious about it for the whole day. 

Joanna Kramer of Bristol blanked her boyfriend over breakfast and has not replied to any of his puzzled texts because she is not yet ready to forgive him. 

She said: “He knows full well what he’s done. 

“Kissing her right there in front of everybody, on that cake stall I used to go to as a girl which was now on board a ship for some reason. 

“At the time I was distracted because I’d only just left an exam I had no idea I was meant to be sitting, but I woke up angry and it’s only got worse. He’s got some serious making-up to do.” 

Partner Joe Turner said: “I’m expected to buy her flowers because her unconscious mind decided I was unfaithful? Ridiculous. 

“Of course I didn’t tell her that I had the exact same dream and it was awesome.” 

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Ask Holly: I really hate that goody-two-shoes Jeremy Corbyn

Dear Holly,

I really hate that goody-two-shoes Jeremy Corbyn. He needs to grow  a set of balls and get himself in embroiled in a controversial war in the Middle East and stop all this fannying about being progressive and making me look bad. Why does everyone love this guy? He’s nothing but a pathetic beardy ball-bag. And why does everyone hate me? It’s not fair, what am I doing wrong?



Dear Tony,

It’s not nice when everyone hates you. No-one will sit with you at lunch and you have to wander about the school at playtime like a Billy-no-mates, trying to pretend you’re all nonchalant about being a pariah. The only thing you can do is try to become friends with the other outcast, Sharon Eccles, but she is a bit mental and smells like beef and wants to play funeral parlours, and suddenly the thought of eating your packed lunch, all alone, in a locked toilet cubicle seems preferable.

Hope that helps,