Woman cannot be arsed to have a baby

A WOMAN has decided against having children because it is loads of hassle.

Eleanor Shaw, 31, thinks the world has enough people without her adding more and wants to do fun stuff instead.

Shaw said: “I’ve just never been that arsed about having a kid, in the same way I’ve never been that bothered about stamp collecting. I’m not against it, I’m just not into it.

“I’ve tried to explain this to my friends who have got kids, but they seem to think that admitting I’d rather spend all my spare cash on posh cheese and holidays is similar to saying I like to kick puppies for fun.

“I’m not obsessed with my career, I haven’t got some dark secret and I’m not interested in writing a blog about my difficult choices. It really just comes down to the fact that I just can’t be bothered.”

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “My children are the most wonderful beings on earth and the light of my life. Except when they’re exhausting little shits, of course.”