Woman choosing personal, meaningful tattoo from tattooists’ wall

A WOMAN is choosing a tattoo design that is deeply meaningful on a personal level from the ones pinned up on the wall of the tattooists.

Emma Bradford, aged 22, would prefer to work closely with an artist to come up with a unique design but flies to Ibiza in less than a fortnight so just does not have time.

She said: “What I’ll do is get the tattoo first and work my life around it.

“It’s very important that people look at me as someone who has a tattoo, but I don’t want just a butterfly or a star. I’ve got depths.

“Ideally it’d be something that evokes the spirit of my ancestors, like a Maori sleeve, except my grandparents are from Basingstoke.

“Maybe I’m going around this backwards. I mean if I get a Metallica tattoo, that’ll really incentivise me to get into them.”

Tattoo artist Wayne Hayes said: “After five minutes conversation, we’ve decided the design that really sums Emma up is this one.

“It’s called ‘Unknown squiggles – probably Arabic’.”

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Brexiter can’t wait to queue for four hours with proper British passport


A BREXIT voter has announced that the day he can queue for four hours while clutching a proper British passport will be proudest moment of his life.

Martin Bishop, from Doncaster, said queuing in an airport for half a day was ‘fantastically British’ but it had been ‘stolen from decent people by the gay, purple EU passport and the so called freedom it represents’.

He added “The longer I can queue the better. I want to savour the experience. I’ll be standing in the airport with thousands of other proud Britons, our identity fully restored by that little blue thing of wonder.

“Instead of gliding through a passport check thanks to some purple abomination, I can wait patiently just to be able to hand over the greatest passport in the world to some greasy foreigner. I will look him in the eye and say ‘You’ll have to do better than that, Francois.

“It will be a festival of Britishness, especially if a massive fight breaks out.”