Woman claims her 'mummy blog' will be different from all the others

A WOMAN has announced plans to start a mummy blog that will definitely be different from all of the others.

Mary Fisher, 35, from Chester, said: “I realised I have a unique and hilarious perspective on motherhood that literally no other mothers have, so I knew I had to get my voice out there on the web.

“I think my stories about how kids are too loud or how I drink too much wine when I’m stressed will really stand out.

“I’ve got seven followers. Strap yourself in because this is going to be crazy.”

Fisher hopes her blog will lead to a book deal, adding: “There’s just the one post up so far about my fish finger catastrophe, but publishers would be mad not to give me a bigger platform.

“I’m also considering adapting it for TV, but it will depend on the availability of Helen Baxendale.”

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Yes, you’re right, it’s pronounced 'bo-log-nays', Italy tells Britain

ITALY has bowed to the superior knowledge of Britons and admitted its signature meat sauce should be pronounced ‘bo-log-nays’.

The admission, by the Italian government, was greeted with victorious yelling by the millions of Britons who have stood by their pronunciation in the face of almost universal criticism.

Wayne Hayes, from Devon, said: “All my life TV chefs have said it should be pronounced ‘bollo-nyase’. It’s never sounded right, and I’m glad the Italians have admitted they were wrong because they were.”

Roy Hobbs, a fan of Italian specialities like Hawaiian pizza and Nutella-on-toast said: “If the Italians want us to pronounce the ‘g’ in ‘spaghetti’ they can’t pretend the one in ‘bolognese’ isn’t there. It’s illogical”.

An Italian government spokesman said: “We are deeply grateful to the great British brain for understanding our language better than we ever could.”

Britons are optimistic that they will now be able to change the official pronunciation of ‘espresso’ to ‘expresso’.

Wayne Hayes added: “It’s coffee that’s ready fast – or ‘express’ coffee. ‘Espresso’ doesn’t even mean anything. Sort it out, Italy.”