A WOMAN has given birth to a baby obsessed with social media engagement and brand awareness.
Emma Bradford’s joy was quickly replaced by nausea as she realised her baby Nathan was asking the midwife what she looked for in infotainment.
Nathan later paused mid-breast feed to ask whether his mother was getting the best out of her snackable content and whether she would buy a snack that was marketed using ironic hashtags.
Emma Bradford said: “At first I thought he was gurgling, but then I realised he was speaking in marketing bollocks.
“I’ve just put him down for a nap, but he’s refusing to sleep as he’s in the middle of a brand development presentation.”
Bradford added “I’m going to leave him on the doorstep of an advertising agency with a note that says, ‘unwanted twat’.”