Woman makes three new friends every time she visits a toilet

A MAN cannot understand how his girlfriend returns from a ‘quick wee’ with several phone numbers and someone’s life story.

Nathan Muir, 29, has lost hours of his life standing outside ladies loos waiting for girlfriend Nikki Hollis to return, usually while she is deep in conversation with some strange women about something highly personal.

Muir said: “I just can’t figure out what happens in there. Every public toilet I’ve been into is disgusting, silent and somehow shameful, but Nikki always comes striding out like she’s just starred in a particularly empowering episode of Sex and the City. 

“Then she tells me in great detail about some guy who has been a shit to her new friend Carol and is very angry about it even though they only met for two minutes by a soap dispenser.

“How do women make going for a piss compatible with making friends? Having never been in a women’s toilet I imagine it’s a cross between Thelma & Louise and a soft porn pillow fight with a soundtrack by Little Mix.”

He added: “I really don’t understand women, do I?”