Woman phones in sick with ‘post-truth’ excuse

A WOMAN has given a bullshit reason for not going to work because there is now no such thing as lying.

Nikki Hollis, 28, phoned her boss and told him she was in bed with a ‘horrendous cold’ and then went out with friends to watch A Street Cat Named Bob.

Hollis, an accounts administrator from Stevenage, said: “’Post-truth’ basically means presenting a massive lie as if it’s a fact and then just doing whatever you fancy, which makes it a perfect concept for calling in sick.

“I’ve also found it really handy for telling my mother-in-law that we won’t be coming for Christmas because I’m allergic to the air north of Milton Keynes, and I got out of helping my sister move house by claiming that I’ve got exceptionally fragile wrists and can’t carry heavy things.

“Then I can justify this by telling myself that the objective facts are less important than me having to do boring things for other people when I’d rather be watching Strictly with a tub of Nutella and a big spoon.

“If it’s good enough for the next leader of the free world, then it’s good enough for me.”