Woman’s friends dutifully say ‘wow’ about engagement ring

A WOMAN’S friends have all faked amazement at her engagement ring despite having no idea whether it is impressive. 

26-year-old Carolyn Ryan showed off the ring to her friends last night, all of whom imitated reactions they have seen in films. 

Emma Bradford said: “I’ve never looked at an engagement ring before, so I don’t have any points of comparison. So I just made this fake ‘o’ face that seemed to do the trick. 

“Apparently it has diamonds and sapphires in, and gold that is a number of carats. It wasn’t an especially high number, but I don’t know what gold goes up to.

“Anyway I held her outstretched hand reverently with eyes wide, as if the ring was glowing with an unearthly power, and looked around to the other girls and they all slowly nodded, like we’ve seen how to on Sex in the City.” 

Ryan said: “The girls were all wowed by my ring. Which was reassuring, because I’m half-convinced I’ve made the wrong decision.” 

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Ask Holly: Sometimes I amaze myself, so why does my wife despise me?

Dear Holly,

I’m so busy writing executive orders to get rid of rubbish things like free healthcare, womens’ rights and Mexicans and bring back all my favourite stuff like torture and Rick Astley. Sometimes I amaze myself, so why does my wife despise me?

Donald

Washington

Dear Donald,

If I was in charge of America I would make it compulsory for everyone to get free pick ‘n’ mix for life and no-one has to go to school and do boring pointless education and there would be no rules restricting access to Nickelodeon. Also broccoli would be illegal. But we would all still be nice to each other and make sure we look after people who have problems or can’t help themselves because that is what is right. Even I know that, and I am a 10-year old child.

Hope that helps,

Holly