Worker who is top of office fantasy league also bottom of productivity league

A MAN who is in first place in his office’s Fantasy Premier League is also in last place for amount of work done, it has emerged.

Sales associate Tom Logan is miles ahead of his nearest FPL rivals after diligently managing his transfers, but trails them all in the revenue chart that will determine if his contract is renewed.

Logan’s line manager Donna Sheridan said: “Tom is always hunched over his computer looking serious, but he never seems to actually make a sale or answer emails.

“He looked pale last week and when I asked him what was wrong, he explained that he’d triple-captained Harry Kane because it was a double gameweek but he’d picked up a knock and now he might have wasted a wildcard.

“I didn’t know what that meant so I just nodded and made a mental note to sack the useless fucker at the end of the season.”