Friday, 28th February 2020

'You can be anything you want' says lying bastard dad

A FATHER has been feeding his child utter bollocks about being able to have any job they want when they grow up.

Martin Bishop has been promoting the ridiculous idea to his son Max with a completely straight face and apparent sincerity.

Bishop’s wife Helen said: “Let’s get real here. No child can be 'anything they want', especially not Max who is nine and still sucks his thumb. We’re talking office fodder at best.

“His dad’s irresponsible propaganda implies he could become a senior Conservative politician or a flamboyant business tycoon, but since he’s not related to anyone rich or famous, this is clearly bullshit.

“Nor has Martin made him aware of the intense competition and high level of qualifications needed to be a doctor, spaceman or just a normal pilot.

"He’d be better off being told 'You can be anything you want in this book' and being handed a printout of local jobs filtered by low-to-medium income, within a 15-mile radius of this house."

Nine-year-old Max said: “I am going to be a famous inventor and invent the first time machine and bring back dinosaurs, or work in logistics in Northampton.”