EVER wondered which of your deficiencies as a person really seals the deal? Find out:
5. Your laziness
Only at the bottom of the list because you won’t be arsed to read any further. Your life is a series of half-baked endeavours you never see through because you’re a quitter. if you’d ever put in an ounce of effort then you could have been a loser in a completely different but slightly less predictable way.
4. Your stubbornness
It’s difficult to be told you’re stubborn because you react by bellowing ‘f**k you I’m not’ then storm out. But listen to your friends, family, colleagues and the staff at the Co-op: you are indeed an obstinate dickhead who needs to learn to accommodate others. Save face by saying you knew this all along.
3. Your overconfidence
Whether you’re offering advice about a job you know nothing about, relationships you’re not privy to or visiting places you’ve never heard of, you bluster in with inordinate misplaced confidence and make everything worse. If there was a bomb that needed defusing you would chip in with helpful tips because you once half-watched The Hurt Locker on a plane. You’re overconfidently ignoring this advice right now.
2. Your shyness
Only the loud and proud get anywhere in this world, yet here you are anxiously rehearsing your Starbucks order to yourself in the queue. It’s time you asserted yourself by following the advice of others to assert yourself. Stand up straight and stop bloody mumbling for starters.
1. Your personality
It’s bad enough that you’re lazy, stubborn, overconfident and shy, but these character flaws pale in comparison to your actual personality. At your very core you’re a deceitful, spiteful, people-pleaser with every other negative trait a person could possess. And yet you still manage to be boring. It’s almost impressive.
