Society

Can I cancel my holiday to an island on fire? F**k off, explains a lawyer

ARE you on, or going to, an island that is on fire for your holiday? Lawyer Denys Finch Hatton explains why this is entirely your responsibility.

Gammon offended by diversity of cafe's teas

A SUPPORTER of British breakfast tea is appalled at his local cafe’s unapologetically diverse tea selection.

Nom, and other words that revoke your status as an adult

LANGUAGE constantly evolves, but some words will forever make you sound like an overgrown child. Avoid these if you still want to be treated as a grown up.  

Teenager is strange blend of right-on snowflake and heartless monster

A TEENAGE boy is somehow both a bleeding-heart activist with compassion for everyone and a demon utterly devoid of empathy.

Six rules of the road that don't apply to cyclists: a cyclist explains

RIDING a bicycle means you can ignore rules that apply to other road-users, like cars, motorbikes, buses or pedestrians. Cyclist Tom Logan explains.

I tried living without public services for an hour and I was fine. By a Daily Telegraph columnist

I SEE public sector workers are getting huge pay rises again, but do we really need these skiving Bolsheviks in our lives? I didn’t use their services for a full hour today, and I’m just fine.

Six 90s rumours you were a moron to believe

THE 1990s were rife with dumb rumours and myths, often promulgated by the new-fangled Worldwide Web. Here are some you’re not proud to admit you did sort-of believe.

Man claiming every news story is a dead cat

AN otherwise sane man has decided that every breaking news story is just a distraction from another story.

'Knutsford’s largest seizure of narcotics': What drug busts mean without the police bullshit

THE police routinely talk up their drug busts and the media never question the boys in blue. But do you suspect they may over-dramatising events? Here’s the reality.

Scottish crown jewels revealed to be a tam o' shanter stuffed with Buckfast and shortbread

THE mysterious Scottish crown jewels presented to King Charles yesterday are in fact a tartan hat with a bottle of super-strength tonic wine and some biscuits inside.