Society

A STAGGERING 1,000 Met officers are currently suspended for alleged wrongdoing. And somehow it’s worse when you compare them with the respected coppers you grew up with, be they real or fictional.

THE third little pig has been left homeless after his house, built with RAAC concrete instead of bricks, was destroyed in a single blow.

A COUPLE are demanding money and presents just because they got laid, it has emerged.

A TEENAGER whose nostalgia for the 1990s has led to her listening to Pearl Jam and stealing her dad’s plaid shirt feels it is irrelevant that she was not even alive at the time.

A GROUP called Restore Trust is trying to stop the National Trust presenting a negative, ie. true, view of Britain’s past. Here’s how they would interpret history.

A WOMAN who has not cracked a smile at any point during a text exchange has nonetheless claimed that she is ‘laughing out loud’.

BRITAIN is solemnly remembering September 8th last year, the date when all television programming abruptly and without warning stopped.

A MAN has derided the idiotically woke idea of ‘safe spaces’ from an extremely safe location in his Cotswolds home.

A MAN telling his son how escaped prisoners were not long ago regarded as folk heroes is realising how deeply strange that was.

THE UK is delighted that Birmingham is bankrupt because it means they get to clear the place out and start again.