Society

IS your child’s school built with 40-year-old concrete on the verge of collapse? Please wait for a letter from your school’s headteacher to confirm.

POSH shoppers who would never normally be seen dead in a High Street chain store are greedily picking over the bones of discounted stock in Wilko.

ACCIDENTALLY locked eyes with a woman with her boob out and don’t know what to do? Follow this guide.

A WOMAN meeting the other close friends of a person she dearly cares about was horrified to discover they are all inconceivably dreadful.

PARENTS of children sent to private school are again interpreting today’s GCSE results as a sign they are naturally more intelligent.

STUCK in an airport terminal waiting for a plane that shows no sign of being announced? Keep your kids entertained by looking out for these sights.

YOU and your grandmother headed down to the park, hand-in-hand, to murder countless waterfowl. Add it to the list of your crimes.

MANKIND faces its greatest crisis ever - cultural climate change, or ‘wokeness’, which threatens to destroy civilisation as we know it. Here’s what we must do to avert catastrophe.

TEENAGERS who have achieved high grades in their A-levels are excited to go to university and rack up tens of thousands of pounds of debt.

IT takes less than three seconds for people to decide if your child is a twat, based only on their name. Beware these inexplicably popular choices.