All wars are terrible but at least they didn't used to include memes

ALL armed conflicts are horrific but this one is a bit worse because it has the added misery of memes, historians have confirmed.

Rather than attempting to understand the complex historical and geopolitical causes of the situation, internet twats are instead responding with hastily thrown together graphics that barely make sense and are of f**k all help.

Military historian Professor Martin Bishop said: “Previous wars were deeply tragic events, but at least there weren’t wankers on Twitter sharing memes and thinking they’ve done more for peace than Gandhi.

“The most annoying thing they had in World War 2 was the ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ poster, which was almost never displayed publicly. It was bellends from the digital age who insisted on endlessly inflicting that on us.

“Now it’s either people proving how clever they are, or taking five seconds to bung a widely-shared image on Facebook after giving it as much thought as what sort of crisps to have with their sandwich at lunch.

“So if you find yourself trying to tortuously fit some poorly-thought-out point about Ukraine, Russia and Nato into the jealous girlfriend meme, stop and think. Are you helping to resist Putin’s dreadful invasion? Or are you just a bit of prick?

“I’ll give you a clue. You’re a prick.”

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Five sexy celebrities who pull off baldness, unlike you

LOSING your hair? Thinking you might be able to make it work like these five gorgeous guys who make male-pattern baldness hot?

Jason Statham

The chiselled bone structure and devastatingly buff physique of Statham makes having hair look a childish affectation. Hair would only detract from his brooding aura of violence. You’re more suited to playing a background thug – like, really in the background, not even in focus – than a leading man.

Bruce Willis

Despite the fact he started to lose his hair before he’d fully shifted from TV to movies, Bruce has never been short of gorgeous girlfriends and had his pick of roles for decades. But thinking about it, Demi Moore was way out of your pulling league even when you were hirsute.

Mark Strong

Every woman is drawn to Strong’s low, dulcet tones and soulful, imploring eyes. And he’s also fluent in German and best mates with Daniel Craig, so that was probably some consolation when all his hair fell out leaving him a total slaphead. You enjoy none of those advantages. You’re not even balding evenly.

Dwayne Johnson

With the ripped body and irresistible charisma of The Rock you hardly need a thick crop of hair to appeal to the ladies. Even when he had hair, it looked like it had been drawn on with a marker pen. Losing it was an improvement. For you, needless to say, it won’t be.

Stanley Tucci

It’s important to stress that all of these men have good looks, money, and charm behind your wildest dreams. I mean this dude’s name is Stanley for f**k’s sake and he still gets the ladies going with his impromptu Italian cooking sessions and cocktail nights. Why have you even read this far? Go and cry in the bathroom, you bald bastard.