Daily Mail rates the outfits of Gaza Strip refugees

BRITAIN’S leading 1950s newspaper has provided a fashion rundown of female Palestinians fleeing airstrikes.

Under the headline ‘The Gaza Strip Catwalk’, the Daily Mail profiled a few of the many women stepping out in the Middle Eastern hotspot.

A Mail reporter wrote: “Just received a courteous telephone call from the Israelis advising you to evacuate your home?

“Then you’ve been given all the warning you need to throw together a look that’s casual, summery and practical. Especially when you know you’ll be facing the cameras.

“Unfortunately mother-of-four Shadia Kelani turned Mossad heads with an atrocity of an outfit, her embroidered dress and her chequered kaffiyeh a nastier clash than the IDF and Hamas.

“And Laila Hatoum, seen here with everything she owns loaded on a broken cart, fared little better.

“What at first glance is a daringly slashed dress is just the result of flying debris, and the running-mascara look is daring in Paris but depressingly unoriginal in Palestine.

Palestinian Rana Raheb said: “In all the excitement of having our homes pulverised we have may have forgotten the importance of looking good.

“Thank you, Mail Online, for reminding us.”

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Miliband to show Obama his 2000AD collection

ED Miliband is planning to show Barack Obama his collection of 2000AD comics, many with free gifts still on the cover.

The Labour leader will take his rarest 2000ADs to Washington next week, planning to forge Anglo-American relationships via his comprehensive knowledge of Judge Dredd, ABC Warriors and less fondly remembered strips such as Ace Trucking Co.

Miliband said: “Barack Obama looks as though he would definitely have been part of my gang at school, The League of Zarjaz Earthlets.

“I may even detach the Space Spinner free gift from issue one for some light-hearted yet reverent fun.

“Issues on the agenda include trade agreements, the problem of a volatile Middle East and whether you’d rather do it with Judge Anderson or Sister Sledge, the Nort agent who paralysed Rogue Trooper during the Dix-1 Offensive on Nu-Earth.”

However David Cameron said: “The leader of the most powerful nation on earth is more likely to want to be best friends with someone like me who owns a large collection of Commando comics, which we can do swaps with if he has copies of Battle or Warlord.

“Quite simply, in the international geo-politics of the 21st century there is no role for Nemesis the Warlock.”