Great War ‘top conflict brand’

WORLD War One has been declared Britain’s most on-trend conflict thanks to its nice coats and haircuts.

Helped by its ground-breaking collaboration with supermarket chain Sainsbury’s, ‘WW1’ has leapt ahead of other brand leaders, including the American Civil War and ‘that one with Sean Bean and the women with bonnets in it’.

Advertising agency director Tom Logan said: “Twenty-five years ago, World War One was considered to be a load of posh men with moustaches pointing at muddy people.

“It lost ground to newcomers such as Vietnam with its helicopters, colourful explosions and Buffalo Springfield songs.

“WW1 refocused its efforts on promoting core aspects of the Western Front: the melancholy poetry, No Man’s Land football and the doomed homo-eroticism of pale-faced, dishy young men with their coat collars turned up sharing cigarettes in the mist.

“Historical records show that most soldiers in the trenches were hot.”