Hooray for war

CHEERING crowds packed the streets of Britain yesterday as the nation finally got the war it has wanted for so very long.

Jubilation reigned throughout the land as RAF bombers set off to Syria, following Parliament’s capitulation to the public demand for an open-ended conflict in the Middle East.

Bill McKay, from Bolton, said: “I’m over the moon.

“I mean yes, we’ve been at war with or in Iraq since 2003, and of course there was Afghanistan, but that wasn’t nearly enough for me and my family.

“‘When are they going to start bombing Syria?’ my wife would nag me over the dinner table every night. ‘Everyone else is. It’s not fair’.

“Well, at last the wait is over and just in time for Christmas. What a fantastic present.”

Army recruitment centres have been inundated as tens of thousands abandon their dull lives in Civvy Street to join what one thrilled new squaddie described as ‘surely the best war yet’.

The prime minister, speaking in front of a spontaneous rally of more than 300,000 rejoicing people in Trafalgar Square, said: “It’s war, everyone! It’s war!

“God, it feels so exciting to finally be saying this! It’s war, it’s war, it’s war!”