In case you were wondering, I’m not a f**king pacifist either, May tells Britain

THERESA May has assured Britain that she is absolutely, definitely not a pacifist.

As Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn called for a new approach to military intervention, the prime minister chuckled at the idea of her not wanting to attack people, preferably with her teeth.

She said: “Yes, I’m a biter. But I also enjoy hitting people very hard in the face with a cricket bat or a golf club.

“Obviously I like the blood, but what I really love is the noises they make when I’m hurting them.”

The prime minister added: “It’s really good that I now have an army all to myself. I want to use it to hurt people and I don’t really care who.

Pacifist. Fuck off.”