Lego preparing for all-out war with Playmobil

LEGO characters are arming themselves in preparation for wiping all Playmobil figures from the face of the earth.

Lego and Playmobil characters first clashed in 1998 when a six-year-old boy tried introducing figures from the Playmobil Dragon Land range to a Ninjago castle, and have remained bitter enemies ever since.

The Lego range has become increasingly militant in recent years, introducing weapon-wielding new characters including Batman, Napoleon and Freddy Krueger.

Lego ninja Tom Booker said: “With the addition of new psychopathic characters, the Lego universe finally has the might to eradicate the weak, ineffectual Playmobil scum.

“We must act now before they finish building the rumoured Playmobil ballistic nuclear weapons system, which you can apparently already pre-order from Toys ‘R’ Us.

“We will scalp them all by pulling off their strange indie-kid hair.”

Booker added: “Although not a brick-based building system, we believe Playmobil people are derivative of us and thus do not recognise their right to exist.

“We will kill them all and then we’ll move onto Sylvanian Families, which are clearly terrifying, especially the rabbit ones.”