Please keep women out of the SAS, say men who can only read books about the SAS

WOMEN should not be allowed in the SAS, according to men who read books about the SAS and only about the SAS. 

Following the news that women can perform in any role in the RAF, the men have pleaded with the Army to keep the Special Air Service sacrosanct and female-free.

Roy Hobbs of Dorking said: “Can we escape women nowhere?

“They’re in golf, they’re on the news, and two of them came into the saloon bar of the British Legion last month. And ordered their own drinks.

“My only refuge from this tidal wave of femininity is in books about the SAS, often but not exclusively written by Andy McNab, books in which only fighting men exist and emotions are a dismissed frippery.

“Frankly they’re the only reason I’m literate, and if suddenly female sergeants turn up in them saying ‘On my six, fucksticks,’ then I’ll stop reading forever and it’ll be feminism’s fault.”

Hobbs added: “I don’t find them sexually arousing. The books, not the women. Or women either.”