WORKERS in an office are reeling from the news that some arsehole has managed to make the work Christmas party fancy f**king dress.
The party had already been dreaded by most sensible people in the Leeds brokerage firm, but the adoption of a mandatory fun dress code has pushed the workplace into full crisis.
Admin assistant Charlotte Phelps said: “With four days to go until the night itself, this is a clinically psychopathic act.
“Office party wear is already a nightmare, balancing festiveness with professionalism with a £20 budget on H&M. Now I’m expected to dress up as well? Piss off.
“It’s not even regular fancy dress or a Christmas jumper. It has to be ‘themed around a Christmas carol’ because Helen the evil HR bitch wants to re-use the slutty angel costume from her birthday while the rest of us scramble for a Good King Wenceslas get-up.
“She even had the nerve to add ‘PS Penalties for anyone who doesn’t get into the spirit!’ The rate she’s going, my costume’s going to be me with two bottles of Malbec down me garotting her with tinsel.”
Colleague Steve Malley said: “Helen is a manipulative monster. I’m going as In The Bleak Midwinter. It’s me, drinking heavily, being depressed.”