Third circle of hell booked for office Christmas party

THE office Christmas party has been booked for the third circle of hell this year, Marie from accounts has announced. 

The all-office email says that most Earthly venues were booked up or asking ridiculous amounts, but that the underworld offered a sit-down meal and disco afterwards on just the right date for a very reasonable price.

The email continued: “I’ve never been before but it’s got some very famous patrons (Judas, Hitler, Satan himself!) and they’ve got vegetarian options which are apparently important to some people.

“All the food’s flame-grilled on the eternal burning souls of the damned – sounds delicious! – and there’s a Michael Jackson impersonator then Saturday Night Fever 70s disco. Let’s all have a great time!!!”

Colleague Martin Bishop said: “I mean at least we know it’s in hell. Like the whole ‘abandon hope’ thing’s literally on the door as you go in.

“And apparently there’s a great strip club right next door in the second circle with Helen of Troy and Cleopatra and Mata Hari, so it saves on an Uber.”