YOUR cleaner judges you harshly over how little cleaning you do, she has confirmed.
Lucy Parry, who has realised how much money can be made out of horrible slobs who can’t be arsed to pick up a duster, thinks all her clients are disgusting.
Parry said: “The people who employ me insist on extensive background checks to make sure I’m not a criminal and yet they’re the ones leaving smears of cocaine on their tacky glass tables.
“I have to bring my own industrial strength products as they only have virtue-signalling eco-friendly ones which just move germs around rather than actually killing them. A hint of lavender is no match for sodium percarbonate.
“I hope they can see on my face the utter disdain I feel about the squalor of their homes when we meet on the stairs. I think they can, as they all seem to be frightened of me.”
Client Emma Bradshaw said: “I thought our house might provide a nice challenge for Lucy, but I’ve learned that cleaners only want to clean houses that are already clean.
“Now we get up at 6am and do a big spruce up before she comes. It’s much easer all round.”