Friday, 4th December 2020

Couple forced to work from home realise neither actually does any work

A COUPLE forced to work from home has each realised that the other one’s claims to have a punishingly hard job are bullshit. 

Tom and Clare Logan, who usually spend their evenings regaling each other with how swamped they are at work, have seen the truth about their jobs revealed by sitting in the same room for nine hours of pure procrastination.

Clare said: “I’ve kept telling Tom to push for a promotion because the way he talked up work, he should be on six figures. After one day watching him in action I think he should be fired.

“He seemed to spend the whole day watching YouTube videos and snorting with laughter or commenting loudly what someone had just posted on Twitter.

“And don’t get me started on the toilet breaks. By 1pm I asked if he had a yeast infection.”

But Tom said: “Clare rarely actually types, and believe me I’d notice because she appears to have mistaken the keyboard of her laptop for a percussion instrument.

“And if that was a work call, then more of her business revolves around Celebrity Bake-Off than I’d imagined. Lazy cow. Tonight’s chat about our day is going to be awkward.”