LOOKING to make everyone else in your office resent you for making them feel like a lazy bastard? Try these lunchtime activities.
Doing an online course
Spending your lunch break ‘upskilling’ using some course in digital marketing from the Open University will make your colleagues regard you as a mega-twat. Rather than sitting around chatting about how much you hate your job, you’re trying to do something about it. Expect to be treated with contempt.
Going for a run
Nothing will make your colleagues resent you more than if you suddenly appear in shorts with your phone strapped to your arm to announce that you’re ‘Just going for a quick 10k’. They’ll enjoy the rest of their lunch break discussing what a smug tosser you are.
While helping the vulnerable in society is a fantastic thing to do, announcing that you’re going to help out at a soup kitchen will make everyone else sitting at their desks eating crisps feel like slovenly bellends. Save the world on your own time, okay?
Arts and crafts
Some people want more from their lunch break than to sit at their desk for 60 minutes grimly working through a supermarket meal deal. If you instead break out some knitting needles and make yourself a jumper, prepare for everyone simply browsing their phones to think you’re a ponce.
Going to the gym
Apart from making your co-workers feel like a bunch of slobs, sitting on a rowing machine for an hour is a great way to be knackered and smelly. But having a perfectly sculpted body outweighs your colleagues being disgusted by you reeking of sweat all afternoon.