DOES your mum believe she knows of a career option that would make you rich? She has no idea that these five jobs are just as badly paid as yours:
Has Jude Law been one in a thriller or something? Because she doesn’t know what they do but is convinced it’s glamorous, and brings up Sheila’s son who does logos and has a house in Spain. Swats aside that 90 per cent of them are freelance and make cock-all.
Barristers perhaps, high-flying corporate lawyers maybe, but your mother feels sure that becoming a solicitor would put you on a never-ending gravy train scooping up bundles of cash from boundary disputes. Reminds you that you dropped out of law A-level because there was ‘too much homework’.
Renzo Piano, architect of the Shard, is doubtless a rich man. But your mum never listens when you explain that after seven years of university most of them are planning three-bed new builds for a development in Staffordshire for less than what a mid-level HR Manager gets.
Definitely influenced by a Sunday night ITV crime drama, because she is convinced a reporting job on a local paper would swiftly take you to overturning wrongful murder convictions from a swanky Docklands flat, not earning Nando’s wages for writing about the success a local woman’s made of her floristry business.
When your mum hears ‘writer’, she cuts straight to J.K Rowling or Stephen King selling a million copies. Instead of thousands of flat-broke shitheads churning out SEO for a local plumbing company because they can’t get a £2,000 advance for their 1,000 page fantasy novel.