Tuesday, 7th July 2020

How to know when to give the f**k up on something

DO YOU, like Theresa May bringing her Brexit deal back for a fourth time, not know how to stop flogging a dead horse? Here’s how to spot when it’s time to quit: 

Nothing is changing

Whether it’s resuscitating a pet, starting a hashtag for your own birthday or trying to make a deal with Jeremy Corbyn, if nothing you do is making any difference accept it and stop pumping uselessly away at its expired carcass.

You’re murderously frustrated

If every time you approach a task, you end up wanting to punch yourself in the face because it doesn’t make sense and is probably impossible, give up on what you started. Like many former Brexit voters would like to but are not allowed to.

You’d rather be doing literally anything else

Finding yourself finally giving the garage that deep clean it’s needed since 1985? Putting your DVDs in alphabetical order, again in the garage? Holding a Commons vote on puppy farms? If these are your displacement activities, you need to make a call on the task you’re avoiding.

Everyone’s telling you it’s f**king pointless

If the queue to tell you that what you are doing is a futile waste of everyone’s time is millions of people long, sack it off. Dump all the paperwork in Theresa May’s office and go to the seaside.

You think someone else would do a better job

You’re fooling yourself. They’ll do just as badly, and if it’s Boris much, much worse, but at least it wouldn’t be your problem any more.