Friday, 3rd July 2020

'I lost my job because of coronavirus', says man fired for sexual harassment and daytime drinking

A MAN who claims to have been made unemployed by the pandemic was actually sacked for making inappropriate office advances while drunk. 

Martin Bishop lost his marketing job in February but is claiming to acquaintances and job interviewers alike that it was somehow a consequence of the lockdown, not being a pissed-up lecher.

He said: “I’m a victim of economic circumstance, like so many others. I won’t complain. I gladly made that sacrifice.

“Honestly I’m managing fine, apart from missing the camaraderie of the office, the lunchtime pints, chatting to the girls in the afternoon, all that.

“Sure, some things I don’t miss – all the bloody meetings with bloody HR about some stupid bloody misunderstanding – but I’ll be back on my feet in no time. Hopefully somewhere with a 3:1 female-male ratio.”

Former colleague Hannah Tomlinson said: “What’s he on about? He got kicked for hanging round the coffee machine with an open bottle of Baileys slurring at any women who came near.

“Oh, and emailing pictures of his dick. I’ve still got one saved on my desktop. I can send that out as his reference, if he likes.”