Friday, 7th May 2021

16 injured in this weekend's eye tests

SIXTEEN Britons have injured themselves this weekend in complications relating to the new eye-testing system, police have confirmed. 

Following the relaxation of lockdown, thousands of motorists have rushed to the roads to self-administer the new eye tests, so far resulting in 16 injuries. 

Optician Helen Archer said: “This is a 1,600 per cent increase on the previous number of injuries while taking optometric exams, which was one in 40 years. 

“It’s understandable that after ten weeks without an eye-test Brits are desperate to check their peepers but we fear that the new eye tests, which involve getting in your car and driving roughly 60 miles to a local beauty spot, have flaws.

“One man worried he may need glasses drove at 115mph along the M6 with his head out the side window to simulate that bit where the optician blows air in your eye. Which is all according to government guidelines.” 

A Government spokesman said: “This is utter nonsense. The new deregulated exams are foolproof. 

“Many of those injured had failed to take a four-year-old child with them in the back seat to warn of possible dangers. They’ve only themselves to blame.”