WOULD giving you a pay rise in line with inflation only fuel that inflation, or is it perfectly fine because you earn six figures? Find out:
Who do you work for?
A) I’m a former public sector employee now working for an outsourced private business which has frozen pay and is cutting all in-work benefits
B) I’m an employee of an international financial conglomerate. Well, my one-man corporation is and I pay myself a non-taxable dividend
What do you do?
A) I’m a nurse in a care home, making sure that 90 residents with complex long-term medical needs remain healthy. But I’ve recently been told I could earn more at Tesco
B) I hedge international currency markets and lending rates, and am currently making Chinese investors a bloody killing on the pound
Are you struggling with inflation?
A) Yes, the cost of shopping’s ridiculous, there’s a winter of huge energy bills ahead and the mortgage is going up
B) It’s a challenge for British businesses but a boon for continental importers, so I’ve recommended shorting the latter and going long on the former
How much do you earn?
A) I’m on £32,500 a year, so I’m actually quite a high earner, but my husband can only work part-time because of the kids so the tax cut is not that much for us
B) I’m on £480k a year so I’m actually quite a low earner for my sector. If it wasn’t for my annual bonus I’d need to liquidate some of my property portfolio
Do you donate to the Conservative party?
A) What? No. I did vote Boris in 2019 though.
B) Well you have to, don’t you.
ANSWERS
Mostly As: Any pay rise in your sector would contribute to inflation by encouraging you to run out and spend money on fancy things like clothing and pleasant food. Your pay must remain low for your own good.
Mostly Bs: Pay rises in your sector are encouraged and subsidised because they drive growth for the entire country. Demand one today, hero.
