BEFORE they commit to a job, prospective employees of a business will be told how many twats are already working there.
Working with a twat can be costly, inefficient and emotionally distressing which is why companies are being asked to disclose their twat quotient.
Prospective employee Emma Bradford said: “I just applied for a job I really wanted but during the interview I got a sneaking suspicion the boss might be a total arse.
“He had a framed picture of a convertible Audi on his desk but worse he started assuming things about me like some sort of fucking Greek oracle in a Moss Bros suit.
“He asked me if I had children to which I replied, ‘one.’ He then told me I’d want another child soon and left it hanging in the air as if I was about to confess my life plans like a guilty secret.”
Bradford added: “I don’t know what’s more expensive to companies, maternity cover or middle-management cretins latched onto the corporate teet like massive piglets with company cars?
“I’ll assume it’s cretins.”