Man at ’empire building’ stage of life barely holding down shitty job in office

A MAN in his forties who feels he should be incredibly successful cannot understand why he is barely holding down a crummy job in an insurance company.

Disorganised low-achiever Tom Booker, 44, had assumed that by now he would be the sort of person with offices in New York and Rome who goes to meetings by helicopter.

Junior manager Booker said: “I can’t understand it. I should be a James Dyson figure constantly growing my business empire, not getting bollocked by my boss for being late again.

“I just want a business to call my own and maybe also an expensive watch. I should be striding manfully down corridors with lackeys following me around taking orders, one of whom should be a really attractive woman.

“However that’s not happened. Admittedly I’ve never worked very hard or had a brilliant business idea but that shouldn’t stop you becoming a billionaire.”

Booker’s wife Joanne said: “For someone who intends to build a massive business empire he spends an awful lot of time on the X-Box.

“Realistically I think this is going to end with him getting a shed.”