Saturday, 5th December 2020

Man farts his way through Zoom meeting

A MAN has spent an entire Zoom meeting with high-level executives blissfully breaking wind.

Wayne Hayes, 32 and chronically flatulent, spent a 90-minute team conference chuffing away in front of his happily unaware superiors.

He said: “Meetings used to be a constant battle between me and my errant guts, but working from home has changed everything.

“The mute function has truly changed my life. I was letting rip non-stop in today’s meeting, from the analysis of last quarter’s performance to the outlook for next year.

“Even when the CEO popped on to talk about the new company mission statement, I was trumping like a lord. I’m living the dream.”

After months perfecting his technique, Hayes has mastered an expression of thoughtful contemplation which his colleagues unwittingly believe means he is paying especially close attention while he unleashes unbelievable anal horror beneath the desk.

Later this month he will go too far when he follows through during an appraisal meeting and has to fake a broken internet connection.