Man surprised to find that HR department seems to be on employer's side

A MAN has found that his office’s human resources team is perplexingly taking his employer’s side in a dispute rather than his. 

Joseph Turner, who has accused his boss of bullying, expected HR to be understanding, sympathetic, and to take up arms on his behalf to fight for what is right but was shocked to find they gave not a f**k about him either as a resource or a human.

He said: “They’re for the people, right? To nod at you empathically with their heads tilted while wearing fluffly cardigans, right?

“So when I told the lady Martin had chucked a stapler at my head I expected him to be suspended immediately. Instead she looked at her computer, said Martin had eight years seniority, and had I thought of getting another job?

“When I mentioned the furious rages, the open drug-taking and punching Sam in the face in the Monday meeting, she told me a senior manager had confirmed all that was merely hearsay and when I asked that manager’s name she said ‘Martin’.

“Apparently any formal complaint will be lodged against my permanent record, I’ve got no evidence, we could be downsizing soon and she knew what I’d written in the last anonymous employee survey so maybe think again.

“I left having agreed to think carefully about how I was going to improve my own conduct, having promised to write a glowing company review on Glassdoor.”

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You'll never guess which virus this Covid-denier has caught!

A PROMINENT Covid-denier has fallen ill after contracting a virus – and you won’t believe which one!

Denys Finch Hatton, host of an anti-vaccine YouTube channel and speaker on recent anti-lockdown marches, has fallen ill with an incredibly surprising health condition.

The controversial amateur epidemiologist is expected to be out of action for the next few weeks as he recovers from the virus, which has left him with astonishing symptoms like a persistent cough and no sense of smell.

Speaking from an intensive care ward, Hatton said: “I’m absolutely flabbergasted. Honestly, when I tell you my diagnosis it’s going to blow your mind.

“Ironically – and you won’t believe this – I contracted it at a recent anti-mask meeting I attended, along with a bunch of other guys. It’s almost like somebody’s trying to tell me something.

“Anyway, I dropped by the hospital to get it checked out, totally casually because I couldn’t breathe, and guess what? It’s only that Covid-19, the hoax one, that’s causing me to be in danger of my life. I know!

The 52-year-old asthmatic added: “To think I’ve been saying the whole pandemic thing is bollocks for the past 18 months. And I will be again, as soon as they discharge me.”