Wednesday, 19th February 2020

Man who handed in notice definitely won't be dicking around for a month

A MAN who has just handed in notice will definitely be giving his employer 100 percent for the next month.

Tom Logan formally quit the job he hates on Monday, and has every intention of giving one hundred percent even though it cannot possibly make any difference now.

Speaking from his desk, with his feet up on a box and The Princess Bride on his computer screen, Logan said: “Don’t worry. I may be leaving this shithole but I’ll be doing the right thing and leaving the job in a good place for the next person. Pass that ashtray.”

He added: “Just because they won’t bother firing me now, doesn’t mean I’ll be taking three hour lunch breaks and coming back utterly, utterly pissed.”

Logan is expected to see out the month before ensuring he can never come back after comments he makes at his leaving party.