Man who just went on LinkedIn still feels dirty

A MAN who went on LinkedIn for five minutes is consumed with self-loathing after hitting ‘like’ on several posts of tedious self-promotional bullshit.

Rather than feeling inspired by the professional success of his peers, Tom Logan suspects his connections are nothing but egocentric arseholes intent on bragging into the void.

Logan said: “The idiot Tech Support Assistant from my first company is now CEO of his own consultancy and accumulating huge piles of money. Or is he? His profile picture looked like it was taken in his mum’s spare bedroom, so maybe it’s all the usual LinkedIn bullshit.

“Meanwhile an ex-colleague shared a post about her ‘inspirational journey’ and ‘lessons learned’ which basically meant her startup failed miserably, and it had three hundred likes and comments about how brave she was for sharing it. Plus she used to many acronyms it looked like her cat had stumbled onto the keyboard.

“The whole thing is a circle jerk of dickheads congratulating each other for being pricks. I hit ‘like’ on pretty much everything I saw, and then left, feeling ashamed and desperately hoping I’m nothing like these bellends.

“What else could I do? There wasn’t a button for ‘F**k off and die’.”

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