Man who thinks he's networking actually just being a pain in the neck

A MAN who thinks he is doing professional networking is actually just being a deeply annoying pest in social situations. 

At parties and in pubs, Martin Bishop quickly steers conversations onto his professional skills and career opportunities he wants to pursue, instantly removing any enjoyment.

Party guest Nikki Hollis said: “It was weird. At first he was really friendly, but if I talked about something other than work you could see he was getting annoyed. 

“He actually interrupted a woman talking about her sick child to physically hand someone his CV. And he sort of kept me trapped in a corner until he’d found out if I was of use to him.

“When he realised I couldn’t help his career he did that thing of looking over my shoulder for someone better to talk to. I didn’t really care because I was drunk, but he’s still an idiot.”

Bishop said: “Networking is about connecting with people. Although on Saturday maybe I should have chosen a more business-orientated event than my niece’s birthday party.

“By the way, do you have any contacts in the media? No? Excuse me, I must get some nibbles.”

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WhatsApp group that suddenly goes quiet means they've started a new one without you

IF a WhatsApp group suddenly goes quiet it could mean you are annoying and no one likes you, experts have warned.

WhatsApp is vital for sending too much information to everyone you know, but research suggests it is possible to be too irritating and needy even for trivia-obsessed online groups. 

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “WhatsApp groups are essentially digital cliques you can be excluded from. But you must be pretty awful for that to happen. 

“Groups can restart without you for many reasons – perhaps you’ve bored everyone senseless with drivel about packed lunches on a parents’ group. Or maybe you are just really uncool, like at school.

“If the WhatsApp group that’s abandoned you is your real mates, not strangers, or worse still your family, you must be a pretty serious loser.” 

WhatsApp user Carolyn Ryan said: “The local mums’ group has gone suspiciously quiet. They can’t hate my hilarious daily observations about things like washing socks… can they?”