Saturday, 4th April 2020

Man who thinks he's networking actually just being a pain in the neck

A MAN who thinks he is doing professional networking is actually just being a deeply annoying pest in social situations. 

At parties and in pubs, Martin Bishop quickly steers conversations onto his professional skills and career opportunities he wants to pursue, instantly removing any enjoyment.

Party guest Nikki Hollis said: “It was weird. At first he was really friendly, but if I talked about something other than work you could see he was getting annoyed. 

“He actually interrupted a woman talking about her sick child to physically hand someone his CV. And he sort of kept me trapped in a corner until he’d found out if I was of use to him.

“When he realised I couldn’t help his career he did that thing of looking over my shoulder for someone better to talk to. I didn’t really care because I was drunk, but he’s still an idiot.”

Bishop said: “Networking is about connecting with people. Although on Saturday maybe I should have chosen a more business-orientated event than my niece’s birthday party.

“By the way, do you have any contacts in the media? No? Excuse me, I must get some nibbles.”