A MORONIC office worker is delighting in calling every day between now and New Year ‘Twixmas’.
Stephen Malley is irritating colleagues who are already fed up with being back at their desks so soon by repeatedly using a cretinous phrase that refers to the period between Christmas and New Year.
Malley said: “No-one enjoys being at work while most people are still at home watching Christmas movies and binge drinking on the sofa, so I thought I’d lift everyone’s spirits by dropping this phrase into conversation.
“Every morning I kick the office door open and bellow ‘IIT’S TWIIIXMAAAS!’ in my best Noddy Holder voice. And even though nobody so much as looks up from their screens, I know it’s giving them a warm, happy glow inside.”
Malley’s line manager Tom Logan said: “The most annoying part is that he throws Twix bars at us while he says it, even though they’ve got nothing to do with this handful of days.
“I used to like eating a Twix but now even thinking of them makes me angry. So I think we’ll have to let Stephen go in the next round of redundancies.”