Old work colleagues meet to trash old work colleagues

A GROUP of ex-colleagues has met up to compare notes about the dire fates they hope have befallen the worst people from their old company.

The trio agreed that there is no way any of the people they hated can be enjoying their lives now.

Julian Cook said: “It’s great to see my old colleagues and reminisce about all the moronic wankers we used to enjoy bitching about.

“From the tw*t of a line manager who always scheduled calls for 4pm on a Friday, to the woman from HR who insisted on a GP letter to prove I didn’t take that week off because of a hangover.

“Right now we’re having a lovely time tearing a new one for Brian from head office. Apparently his wife left him. Bingo!

“The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards Brian suffering, so I’m feeling pretty upbeat about life right now.”

Nikki Hollis added: “It’s nice to know it wasn’t just sharing an office that bonded us three together – it was also about wanting the same handful of colleagues to rot in hell at the earliest opportunity.”

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Woman still using separate shampoo and conditioner like an arsehole

A WOMAN woman is still using two separate products to clean and condition her hair like some kind of arsehole, it has emerged.

Even though there are more options than ever that combine the two, cretin Nikki Hollis still treats each as though it needs its own little place in the shower.

Health and Beauty expert Jane Thomson said: “In this day and age you can easily find a combined shampoo and conditioner that does a good job at a reasonable price. In my opinion, you’d have to be an utter degenerate to have a separate bottle for each.”

Hollis claims to get a better result from using two different brands, although her moronic hair suggests she is a bare-faced liar.

Hollis’ neighbour, 87-year-old Helen Archer, said: “I heard Nikki spends money on a different shampoo and conditioner when there are so many products on the market that contain both. What the f**k?”