THE only employment available once the AI revolution makes humans redundant will be as an estate agent, experts have confirmed.
As every other job is replaced by AI or, for practical jobs, a person holding up a phone with AI on, estate agents will continue to be a human-dominated profession because of the necessity of lying right up in people’s faces.
Estate agent Helen Archer said: “Ask ChatGPT to describe a single room with mould on the walls, a leaking tap and a bed that sags down the the floor and it’ll be honest.
“Ask an estate agent and it’s the latest in urban living, an oasis of comfort in a rapidly-gentrifying area with bathroom facilities shared between six to help the environment. No algorithm can lie that confidently.
“It can write code, diagnose illnesses and create artistic masterpieces, but can it convince a young couple that £1,650 a month for a windowless basement is a ‘rare opportunity’? No. Instead it hallucinates other rooms ‘because nobody should live like this’.
“In a decade, the economy will be just AI and men called Darren with gelled hair who collect nine per cent of GDP for sending three emails a month. Youngsters are training now by standing in broom closets, clapping their hands and saying ‘this feels like the one!’”
Estate agent Martin Bishop said: “As long as humans want to live indoors, we will survive. Though if indoors isn’t a deal-breaker for you, I’ve got a patch of waste ground in Haringay for 820 large.”
