PIZZA delivery drivers have declared they are sick of being used for sex by randy housewives.
The beleaguered food service workers have complained that frequent intercourse with bored, voluptuous women is costing them time and money as the relentless carnal demands lead to fewer deliveries per shift.
Pizza delivery man Roy Hobbs said: “In addition, the constant shagging reinforces the stereotype of pizza delivery men as nothing more than love machines.
“I’m a complex and interesting person who loves Japanese art and is learning how to play the clarinet.”
He added: “The lustful, stay-at-home women of the UK need to take our job seriously and stop treating us like pieces of succulent chorizo.
“I didn’t buy a moped and do a certificate in food safety just to become the plaything of a ravenous she-devil.”