Sunday, 1st November 2020

Police dog wants job that isn't just biting people

A POLICE dog would prefer a job that isn’t basically just attacking people, he has confirmed.

German shepherd Wayne Hayes has worked as a police dog for three years, which is 21 dog years. He found it exciting at first but now wants to re-train as an art therapist.

Hayes said: “I thought there would be more detective work, getting inside the minds of criminals, stuff like that.

“Actually I just get loaded into a van and then they let me out in Bristol city centre and say ‘bite that gobby twat in the Fred Perry’. Then I get a Polo mint and he gets taken off to get some stitches in his arse.

“Being a dog I naturally enjoy biting people, however I’m actually quite left-wing so basically being the jaws of the state doesn’t really sit well.

“I’ve applied for a lot of jobs but as soon as I tell them I’m a dog they lose interest. I got an interview to be a dental nurse but as soon as I walked in they said no, apparently the long hair and drooling was a problem.”