Friday, 6th December 2019

Sadistic interview panel knows full well man only wants job for the sodding money

A JOB interview panel decided to make a man really demean himself and talk bollocks despite being fully aware that applicants were only interested in the money.

Tom Logan had applied for ‘administrative liaison officer’ at Denton Car Insurance Ltd of Uxbridge, a role that no normal person would ever be wildly enthusiastic about.

Lead interviewer Donna Sheridan said: “You’d have be fucking mental to apply for this job out of a love of car insurance rather than just paying the rent, but that didn’t stop us having our fun.

“We managed to get him to say he’d ‘always been fascinated by the insurance industry’. I could see my colleague Steve pissing himself with laughter, but he managed to pretend it was a cough.

“Then he came out with some insincere bollocks about being ‘ideal for the role’ and ‘totally committed to getting the job done’. He’d be sitting at a computer going insane with boredom, for fuck’s sake.

“We like it when they pretend to be on some sort of spiritual mission to work for us, or imply they’d do the job for nothing. It’s sadistic, I know, but it breaks up the tedium of working here.”

Logan said: “God, that was humiliating. I actually said I was a ‘proactive self-starter’. I think I need a shower.”

Sheridan added: “Despite all that grovelling, Tom hasn’t got the job, but he’ll thank us for it later.”