Saturday, 4th April 2020

Smokers can't believe they're still getting away with fag breaks

SMOKERS have admitted they are incredulous that they still get 10 minutes off work whenever they fancy to have a fag. 

Across Britain, smokers sloping off for a swift puff continue to pinch themselves that nobody is doing anything to stop them.

Nathan Muir of Colchester said: “Smoking’s a massive health risk and it’s hammering my bank balance, but I get to pop outside to feed my addiction five times a day, no questions asked.

“Every year I think ‘Surely this will be the one when they make fag breaks contractually illegal, because they’re a p*ss-take on an industrial scale.’

“But, perhaps because smoking’s still cool and tough, nobody wants to get in your way when you duck out to hang with the Marlboro gang.

“Add up all my fag breaks and I reckon I get an extra week off work every year. I know I should feel guilty, but it’s just too easy.”

Dr Helen Archer said: “By smoking at his current rate, Nathan has an 87 per cent chance of dying early. But sacking off work whenever you want, though.”