Friday, 4th December 2020

Tories promise to have traditional Sunday night office dread back by February

THE horror of Sunday night is set to return under government plans to force all office workers back to their desks when the Covid vaccine becomes available.

Ministers have assured people who have been working from home since March that the feelings of relaxation they have been experiencing every weekend will be replaced by creeping dread.

A government spokesman said: “As soon as they start school, British people have a horrible Pavlovian response to Sunday nights instilled in them. It’s part of the curriculum.

“The moment they wake up on a Sunday, they should feel a vague sense of anxiety that grows throughout the day into a feeling of full-blown horror as they contemplate another week at the office.

“Working from home has ruined this, allowing them to feel a pleasant sense of contentment throughout the whole week, instead of the fear and tension associated with most workplaces.

“We’ll be crushing that as soon as possible, obviously, because happy people don’t vote Tory. Get your noses back to the grindstone, you namby-pamby snowflakes.”